Currently stuck on a delayed Virgin train at Preston. The reason is that somebody has been killed on the track south of here. Unclear as to whether or not it’s a suicide.
Valid reason for the delay notwithstanding, I always get nervous in these situations in case someone recognises me as the railways minister (however unlikely that may be). I have visions of someone pointing at me and shrieking “It’s him!” and everyone else pursuing me while someone shouts: “Get a rope! String ’im up!” Then there would be a big chase up a mountainside at night, with me being pursued by angry Bavarian villagers carrying lit torches…
I’m either getting my genres mixed up or I’ve been working too hard. Probably the former.
And the damn train still hasn’t moved. Suggestions for keeping a four- and a two-year-old entertained in these circumstances?