KARAOKE has rules. And one of them is that two or more people can perform – but only if the original recording had the same number of performers. So you can sing a duet with a friend on, say “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”. But if you want to perform “Angels” by Robbie Williams or “Chain Reaction” by Diana Ross, then you have to do it by yourself. I don’t make the rules (actually, I do, but they make sense, so everyone should stick to them).
You see, there’s nothing worse than listening to a crowd of men or women turning any song into the equivalent of a football chant sung at a hen party.
But that’s exactly what happened tonight on what is probably the worst programme I have seen in a very long time: Who Dares Sings on ITV1. I only saw a few minutes, but it involved the entire studio audience singing “Chain Reaction”. Utterly, utterly hideous.
Singing with a bunch of friends may make you less self-conscious up on stage, but it’s missing the point of Karaoke, which is to give it your best shot, but to take it seriously, and to be taken seriously (another one of my rules).