POOR Michael Fabricant (or “Micky Fab” as he was called in his DJ-ing days). His trip to Colombia turned into a nightmare as he was forced, at gunpoint, to eat spoonfulls of coffee whitener to prove to some soldiers that it was Coffee Mate he was carrying and not cocaine.
It’s easy to make a joke out of this, but it must have been an extraordinarily frightening experience.
Michael is one of the more colourful members of the Commons, as he proved at the last session of transport questions. Complaining about the danger to passengers on station platforms when a high-speed train rushes past, he unwisely referred to the danger of him “being sucked off”.
Perhaps appropriate that he raised the issue at orals…