Another good reason to drink your coffee black

POOR Michael Fabricant (or “Micky Fab” as he was called in his DJ-ing days). His trip to Colombia turned into a nightmare as he was forced, at gunpoint, to eat spoonfulls of coffee whitener to prove to some soldiers that it was Coffee Mate he was carrying and not cocaine.

It’s easy to make a joke out of this, but it must have been an extraordinarily frightening experience.

Michael is one of the more colourful members of the Commons, as he proved at the last session of transport questions. Complaining about the danger to passengers on station platforms when a high-speed train rushes past, he unwisely referred to the danger of him “being sucked off”.

Perhaps appropriate that he raised the issue at orals…

Ba-boom.

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7 Comments

Filed under Department for Transport, Parliament, Whimsy

7 responses to “Another good reason to drink your coffee black

  1. that’s Colombia, no U – the one with the u is Washington, District of Columbia.. where, sad to say, overeager drugs squads might have caused a similar incident.

  2. Duly chastised, I’ve changed it. Thanks.

  3. Bedd Gelert

    at least there isn’t any danger of his hair turning white..

    boom-tish..

  4. Richard

    Sounds like a complete load of tosh to me.

    The last time I flew from Gatwick I was asked by a customs official (incidentally wearing a gun) to taste my toddler’s juicy-fruit smoothie drink before he’d let me on the plane.

    You don’t see me writing to the Times about my “harrowing ordeal”.

  5. Not entirely sure if that’s comparable with having Colombian soldiers pointing guns at you while accusing you of being a drug carrier, but hey, if you felt your life was in danger during the whole “kiddie juice Gatwick hell” thing, then you have my sympathy.

  6. Robert

    More then likely thought he was a thug with a hair style like that, bull hell I cannot afford to go to Porthcawl this year thats about ten miles down the road from me, we are having new windows fitted after the warm front said they had no money left to help fund it. happy times.

  7. Richard

    Perhaps you could supplement your budget by selling coffee whitener for $10 a gram.

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