The ultimate insult

APPARENTLY some protesters (“You name it, we’ll protest against it!”) have taken time out of their busy schedules* just long enough to assault immigration minister Phil Woolas using a cream pie as an offensive weapon.

Obviously, as with all similar protests, this will now result in a change of government policy. I’m sure that afterwards, Phil must have thought: “Well, that’s really made me rethink my views – everything is so clear to me now…”

But the biggest insult is that they used vegan cream to make it. VEGAN cream! Not even some decent double or clotted! Even that horrible synthetic stuff in a can (known in Scotland as “skooshy cream”) would have been an improvement. What next? Gluing themselves to government buildings using bio-degradeable super-glue? Tying themselves to earth-moving equipment using locally-resourced, organically-grown, hand-weaved reeds, perhaps?

Honestly, standards these days…


* (cough, cough-)



Filed under Government, Politics

16 responses to “The ultimate insult

  1. Brian Hall

    Now I DO love skooshy cream! Personally, I would be delighted to be assaulted by skooshy cream.

  2. davidc

    be glad we live in a country that uses cream pies as a ‘deadly weapon’. although prescott j was attacked with the more traditional egg !

    did the ‘protestor come to the meeting riding a ethically fairtrade sourced bicycle?

  3. richard

    They should count themselves lucky they didn’t get shot by Special Branch….

  4. How to win friends and influence people eh?

    PS Richard Ingrams in the Indy today sets out the best argument I’ve yet heard for Scottish independence…

  5. John

    I agree. Trying to assault/humiliate a politician for their views/comments is about as pathetic as you can get.

    Just what do they think they will achieve? As you said, does the impact of food somehow lead said politician to have an epiphany and come around to the protestors way of thinking?

    I disagree strongly with your view on Terrorism Legislation Tom, but i’ll always fight for your right to say it. Suffice it to say, there will be no pies heading for your face from my direction 😉

    It may be an idea for all politicians to keep a towel in their briefcase though……just in case :p

  6. Sometimes I miss John Prescott.

  7. “Sometimes I miss John Prescott”

    Try aiming first, it helps…

  8. Skooshy cream is an assault on the taste buds. Just because it’s convenient doesn’t make it good.

    I checked the Whois for ‘’ – thinking how appropriate it would be if it was a New Labour website – but no name or address was provided.

    Not only do ‘No Borders’ throw things and run away, but Whois states:

    “The registrant is a non-trading individual who has opted to have their address omitted from the WHOIS service.”

    Brave or what?

    I see they have a competition to invent “Feminist Anti-Capitalist Queer Superheroes”.

    No wonder they “didn’t want to engage in debate “. Their minds are clearly busy with other things.

  9. joe bonanno

    Maybe it’s having a sister who’s a psychologist makes me think this way but… with members of single issue pressure groups – in particular where the issue has sweet you know what do with them – it seems to me that it is never about the issue. Rather it’s about me me me everyone look at (and listen) to me me me.

    Obsessive compulsiveness seems to come into play as well as ego.

  10. Will S

    The annoying thing is that I was actually considering going to that debate. I think it might have been quite interesting…

    In any case, I doubt Phil Woolas is coming back to the Students Union here anytime soon.

  11. UMSU have always been something of a hotbed of radicalism, and it seems that it was too early to celebrate when RESPECT got a solid two-fingered salute from its SU electorate.

  12. Johnny Norfolk

    Its his own fault. Does he not know you are not allowed in Britain anymore to say what you feel and speak your mind. Lucky he did not shout our RUBBISH or he would be under arrest by the LTP
    ( Labour Thought Police).

  13. My God What Did We Do To Deserve This

    That would be the same Phil Woolas who is apparently unaware that membership of the EUSSR brings with it no control over immigration from member countries?

    Well qualified for the job.

  14. My God What Did We Do To Deserve This

    Johnny Norfolk

    With reference to the LTP, check what Smiffy has up her sleeve for us all.—discussing-remote-searches-of-computer-hard-drives.html

    Good jobs the geeks are always one step in front (actually, rather more) than New Stasi

  15. My God What Did We Do To Deserve This

    How the other half live

    Nice job if you can get it. Bet they keep their pension rights as well. My pension is now worth 1/3rd less than it was 2 months ago. 25 years paid into it.

    Nice job if you can get it. What, however, will happen when everyone in the country is employed by the state?

  16. “We could’ve been anything that we wanted to be” or maybe even “We’re rotten to the core”.

    Looks like Bugsy Woolas just got splatted!

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