OUR children are missing out. I just bought two tubes of Smarties for Ronnie and Reggie and was appalled to see the vandalism that has been perpetrated on these classic sweets. The circular tube has been replaced with a hexagonal one, and there’s no separate plastic lid that pings off at a lethal rate when you stamp on the tube at just the right point and with the correct ferocity. Now the lid is just a cardboard flap at the end of the tube. How dull is that?
Why must sweetie manufacturers change everything? What was wrong with the little piece of grease-proof paper inside every individually-wrapped Opal Fruit? And what was wrong with the name “Opal Fruits”? Starburst my a****.
I’ve only just got round to accepting the name “Snickers” instead of Marathons.
More importantly, whatever happened to those classic sweets from my childhood, like Opal Mints (later renamed “Pacers”), or Dalek Death Ray ice lollies, or Texan bars? And am I the only person in Christendom who remembers that Milky Way wannabe, the Mighty Moose (advertised on telly, I seem to remember, by a cartoon moose stopping a speeding train)?
Still, whatever failings of Smarties’ new packaging, the contents have had the desired effect of keeping R&R quiet long enough for me to write this post. Wonder how long before the e-numbers kick in? Now, in my day, e-numbers were much better than the rubbish you get today… (mutters something about national service as he shuts the computer down).