Where are all the lawyers?

THE BBC have just reported that “Do-Nothing” Dave and Nick “The Claw” Clegg are having their own meeting because they’re in a huff at not being invited to Harriet’s much more interesting party along the corridor.

I can just imagine it:

Nick: Gosh, Dave, this is awfully good of you. Is there anything to drink?

Dave: Not at all, Vince. I’m glad you could make-

Nick: It’s Nick.

Dave: Pardon?

Nick: It’s Nick. Nick Clegg. You called me Vince.

Dave: Did I? Oh, I’m so sorry. George! Make yourself useful and Get Vi-… Nick a drink will you? Tap water all round.

George: Yes, David. Sorry, David.

Nick: You don’t have anything stronger? Wine, maybe?

Dave: Wine? Good heavens, no! Don’t want to be seen enjoying ourselves in these difficult economic times that weren’t created in America, now, do we? And anyway, Harriet’s lot bought all the good stuff for their little… thing.

Nick: Well, then…

Dave: (smiles)


George: Another water, anyone?

Dave: Oh, you’ve got to go? Well, thanks for coming in, Ming. I’ll let you know what’s happening tomorrow.

Nick: It’s Nick- (DOOR SLAMS)

OK, I lost the thread of what I was going to say, there. Where was I? Oh yes, Dave and Nick have decided to call for a full debate into the Green affair tomorrow. I’m just surprised that the Shadow Home Secretary. Dominic Grieve, that doughty defender of lawyers’ rights, has capitualted to this. Discussing a live legal case? At any other time the lawyers’ party would never risk perverting the course of justice with such a debate.

And normally the Speaker wouldn’t allow it. But perhaps the bullying and threats against him by Tory MPs will mean he feels less able to stand up to them. Who knows?

I almost wish I was going to be in Westminster tomorrow, but I decided last week my time might be better spent in the constituency.



Filed under Conservative Party, David Cameron, Government, Nick Clegg, Parliament

24 responses to “Where are all the lawyers?

  1. You’re missing tomorrows festivities? Are you MAD? If I was an MP I wouldn’t miss it for the world!

    I hope the rumours are true, and we at least get a Conservative MP walk-out. Although i’m not so secretly hoping for the other rumour to come true, and them to disrupt proceedings with many “points of order”.

    In any case, I hope there is enough of a stink to make Michael Martin’s position untenable. He’s the worst speaker in living memory.

  2. Zorro

    “in a huff at not being invited to Harriet’s much more interesting party”

    Don’t you think it was rather stupid of Ms Harman to not invite any opposition? It does rather reek of attempted story fixing!!

  3. Johnny Norfolk

    Regretably this is how your blogging is going. When every other interested party is excluded by Labour just what do you expect. You would do better to look what your lot are doing before critisising others. We are sick and tired of Labours Yah Boo Punch and Judy politics.

    All talk no action.

  4. It’s not to do with the case per se but the actions of the police in raiding Mr. Green’s offices and making off with privileged correspondence.

  5. madasafish

    Your blogs were funny and clever.
    They stoill are in parts.
    But stupid name calling and partisan posting on an issue which involves another MP
    – who has not been charged with anything –
    – and name calling-

    is just infantile.

    No wonder we proles think politicians are childish.

    They act like children.

  6. ani

    Tom. Off topic, sorry, but I know you have to report on the polls whether good, bad or rogue, and I’ve just found this on LabourHome.
    Comres poll coming out tomorrow in the Indy.
    CON 37%, LAB 36%, LDEM 17%
    I’m not excited (shame) as I think the polls are unstable, and have been for some time.

  7. wrinkled weasel

    Comedy Scriptwriting? Don’t give up the day job.

    How about: Oh Dave. Dangerous Dave! You know, I used to think he was like Hitler – you know, he has no Cojones. But I learned he doesn’t have a backbone either. I’m surprised he’s not been mistaken for a whelk.

  8. pr roger j clementine iii cbe

    And here was me thinking this blog was going to get less partisan after the PM slung you out of the government!

  9. Tacitus

    Mind you, Tom – where is Gordon? I mean, the sanctity of Parliament is threatened, one ,might expect the PM to have something to say about it?
    But no. As ever, when things hit the fan, courageous Gordon is nowhere to be found.

  10. Tacitus

    Wee Tom,

    We are not stupid. This is a government that has publicised policy by leak, with a leader who leaks for “Britain”, and indeed, takes a pride in it.

    The arrest was a show arrest to try to stem the massive haemorrhaging of embarrassing information from within the hierarchy of an increasing embattled and vicious government.

  11. madasafish

    From I Dale:

    “Ian Johnston was until recently an Assistant Commissioner in the Met and is a senior member of ACPO, the body which yesterday issued a public statement saying it had all been very well handled by the Met”

    No comment needed..

  12. pr roger j clementine iii cbe at 3.20 – “And here was me thinking this blog was going to get less partisan after the PM slung you out of the government!”

    That’s what you get for assuming I was only batting for Labour so I could keep my job – turns out I actually believed it. Who’d have thunk?

  13. Part of the problem is that the Government leaks things to make itself look good and when it comes to police investigations for far too long the police have been as leaky as sieves.

    It is completely unrealistic to expect no comment when the police act in arresting a leading opposition spokesman – foolish in the extreme.

    Even if the allegations of ‘grooming’ are true, so far as the documents that have been placed in the public domain are concerned, they may well be embarrassing to individual ministers, but hardly justify criminal charge, let alone any criminal sanction for ‘misconduct in public office’ and, presumably, conspiracy relating to that offence.

    The Speaker and Serjeant at arms have permitted the seizure of equipment that contains data that is subject to Parliamentary Privilege, without it seems any real justification to trample on that privilege. They don’t, it appears, understand the constitutional niceties; sadly, from the comments that you are making, you simpy don’t appear to care about them.

  14. Donkey Kong

    What do you say to accusations that Jacqui Smith has been lying all the way through this? I can’t see you defending her. You have form with this – hence your refusal to defend Macavity when he accused Call Me Dave of “playing politics” over the Baby P issue. I’m waiting…

  15. “What do you say to accusations that Jacqui Smith has been lying all the way through this?”

    Accusations from whom, exactly (apart from you, of course)?

  16. ani

    Iain Dale should read Unity’s article pointed up by LabourMatters, and learn something instead of spouting so much.

    “Where are all the lawyers?”
    Right here:
    Michael Howard’s been wrong footed by a QC – Geoffrey Robertson? – on his assertion this afternoon that Jacqui Smith should have known/ been told about the police action in the HoC.
    Watch MH repeat the word ‘know’ too many times during his interview with Emily Maitless.

    Talking of which, I was surprised to see in Green’s office, two chaps dressed in civvies and a photographer, who politely asked permatan (forgot his name) to leave.
    Blimey, judging by the hyperbole I was expecting to see a group of heavyweights dressed in black with threatening batons and tasers, ransacking and raiding.
    Bit of a let down really.
    Anyway, from what I can gather this lawyer thought the police were quite in order, and the fault lies with Speaker Martin.

    And Jacqui has come out fighting. Go girl!

    And Tom. Sure you can’t make it to the HoC tomorrow? If you don’t, the Tories will spin like a whirling dervish their interpretation of events.
    I’d appreciate your opinion of the situation.

  17. Ani – sadly, my decision to spend time in the constituency this week was made before all this excitement broke out, but I’m committed, even though I’d love to be there. Sorry. But I will keep a close eye on things and will be in touch with colleagues.

  18. Jay

    Good to know that at least one Labour MP honours commitments, unlike the broken promise on the Lisbon Treaty referendum and the breach of manifesto promise of exemptions from a blanket smoking ban.

  19. Tacitus

    It’s hugely confidence building with respect to democracy, that I can no longer know that any correspondence I might have with my MP is confidential.

    All good stuff. Must get some sealing wax

  20. Tacitus – I get the feeling that everyone who reads your comments here knows exactly the nature of your correspondence with your MP anyway.

  21. Tacitus

    No socialist government….could afford to allow free, sharp or violently worded expressions of public discontent. They would have to fall back on some sort of Gestapo, no doubt very humanely directed in the first instance. And this would nip opinion in the bud; it would stop criticism as it reared its head, and it would gather all the power to the supreme party leaders, rising like stately pinnacles above their vast bureaucracies of civil servants, no longer servants and no longer civil…

    My friends, I must tell you that a socialist policy is abhorrent to the British ideas of freedom….A free parliament- look at that- a free parliament is odious to the socialist doctrinaire.

    Winston. S. Churchill

  22. Tacitus

    Oh dear. Leak upon leak, Tom. Run along, there’s a good boy, and stick your finger in one eh?

    The Met have leaked to ITN that the investigation started when they got a letter from The Cabinet Office complaining about a threat to national security.


  23. Slightly OT I know, but since “correspondence with MP’s” was mentioned i’ve always wondered. Do you or other MP’s you know of get completely random things through the mail? I mean things like outlandish/weird gifts, stalker like admiration letters, hate mail, or heaven forbid a death threat or two?

    Just curious really. Hopefully you can answer without the possibility of 9 counter terrorism officers bursting through your door, but you never know these days……. :p

  24. Thank you, Iain. At last! Someone got it!

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