X-Factor final: live(ish) thread

x_factor_logo112201: ALL the finalists have performed their three standards, Boyzone, Westlife and Beyonce have made their guest appearances, so now I’m waiting with bated breath to find out who’s being knocked out and who’s going through to the head to head. So come on, Dermot, tell us wee Eggnog’s out.

2201: JLS are through! Please, please don’t let Alexandra be out – that would be disgraceful.

2202: Yes! Sorry, wee Owen, you’re a nice guy but you’re not a singer. 

A proper final now. Surely Alexandra has it wrapped up. No-one has ever won The X-Factor after finishing in the bottom two during the live finals which, from memory, JLS have done at least once.

2205: Owen’s crying now. Can’t blame him. But i wish Simon would stop saying he’s representing Northern Ireland tonight, he’s doing nothing of the sort, it’s not a regional competition.

2206: Carolyn has asked me to admit that she called this line-up in the final – JLS and Alexandra – at the start of tonight.

2207: JLS are back, singing “Hallelujah”. They’re definitely the strongest group we’ve ever seen in the competition, but there’s no way they can beat Alexandra. Is there?

2211: Louis is shameless in his touting for votes for his act. None of the other judges do that.

2212: Just realised that “Hallelujah” will be the winner’s single! Should have been paying more attention. Didn’t Diana sing that at boot camp?

2216: That’s it, then. Wonder when the lines close?

2217: Sheryl’s greetin’ again. Has there been a week when she hasn’t? Pet lamb! And Smon has just said Alexandra’s going to win! And he should know.

2219: And Carolyn reckons Alexandra will win because she’s so beautiful. You see, I wouldn’t have been allowed to say that…

2220: “As well as talented,” Carolyn just added.

2221: Another commercial break! It’s the waiting I can’t stand, Carruthers…

2225: It’s back! And btw, Beyonce was fantastic. Certainly put Britney’s appearance in the shade. She didn’t even know what show she was appearing in.

2227: Just been told I spelled Cheryl’s name wrong. The misspelling of Eggnog was deliberate, btw.

2229: Nine minutes to go. Nine minutes? What are we going to do for nine minutes?

2231: Just been reminded that Alexandra’s cover of “Toxic”, singing live, was miles better than Britney’s mimed version of “Womaniser”.

2234: I can’t get through to vote! It’s constantly engaged! This is just like Florida 2000 all over again!

2235: Okay, panic over – I got through. Call off Warren Christopher.

2239: Lines are now closed!

2240: The Mayor of Islington is really hogging that camera angle.

2241: This is it. Seconds away now…

2241: Eight million votes? Good grief!

2242: Yessss! (Punching the air and nearly knocking my laptop off my knees). Hysterical sobbing and girly tears from Alexandra and Cheryl.

2243: For crying out loud, love, cheer up, you won!

2244: Dermot’s trying to get a coherent word from Alexandra. Now someone’s run on stage and shoved a mic into her hand. She’s just dedicated her next performance to me personally, which is nice.

2245: One final thought – didn’t Cheryl do well in her first year as an X-Factor judge and mentor? At least two years since the old hands Simon or Louis won.

And that’s it until the auditions for X-Factor 2009 start to be broadcast next August. So, wonder how I’ll fill my time in the meantime?


Filed under Family life, TV

18 responses to “X-Factor final: live(ish) thread

  1. Will Stobart

    Go away and do something productive.

  2. Bob Jones

    His attempt at representing Ireland didn’t go well, he can’t even get you to spell his wee name in the right fashion.

  3. JLS murdered Hallelujah, which is one of my favourite all time songs. Alexandra did brilliantly.

  4. I’m listening to Jethro Tull on YouTube (my record player needs a new needle).


    They get my vote!

    Unfortunately, I’m also catching up on the accounts, but the music makes it more bearable.

  5. Bob Jones

    First it’s ignoring how the Irish spell their names then it’s the Geordies. It’s Cheryl apparently. Not sure if it’s pronounced like Cherub though.

  6. Bob Jones

    I’ve pre-ordered the downloady thing, I’m not sure what I’ll do if JLS win. Is there a way to donate a file to charity? I guess the Recycle Bin will suffice if not.

  7. Bob Jones

    Crisis averted … no need to try shred the file and get my 65 pennies back.

  8. Will Stobart

    “She’s just dedicated her next performance to me personally, which is nice.”

    You’re kidding, right? You’re making me want to go catch that on iPlayer.

    “So, wonder how I’ll fill my time in the meantime?”

    You could always spend the time in parliament. Or talking to the constituents who are supposed to be re-electing you in a year or so. I suppose the parliament thingie is out because it’s closed half the year, but the constituent idea might be cool, right?

  9. You and irony have had a troubled relationship over the years, haven’t you Will?

  10. jpt

    Alexandra well done!
    Let’s hope that she does better than previous winners (Leona notwithstanding) have done.

  11. Jay

    I missed it last night and was going to watch the repeat this morning – until, with a horrible fascination, I started to read your post, Tom.

    Ah well, it’ll have to be the tax return instead.

  12. Beyoncé was the real star of the show last night. What a wonderful woman.

  13. Paul Williams

    Donal Blaney makes a good point about your use of the word Eggnog, Tom. You coulod be accused of encouraging sectarian bigotry.


  14. (sighs deeply…) I don’t doubt it.

  15. Chris' Wills

    Nothing to do with X-Factore:

    Just wanted to say well done, I hear that the west coast upgrade is complete. A lot of that was done during your stint at the ministry.

  16. Justice is done – watched the results show this morning with the kids, so had to avoid all internet access.

  17. So, despite the best efforts of every bumptious Gauleiter and every vindictive aetheist, the word on every school kids lips may cause a moments sober reflection on the true meaning of Christmas.

    “Miss, what does “Hallelujah” mean?”

    Thank you Simon Cowell.

  18. Ally Looyer, Religious Correspondent to the BBC.

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