2201: ALL the finalists have performed their three standards, Boyzone, Westlife and Beyonce have made their guest appearances, so now I’m waiting with bated breath to find out who’s being knocked out and who’s going through to the head to head. So come on, Dermot, tell us wee Eggnog’s out.
2201: JLS are through! Please, please don’t let Alexandra be out – that would be disgraceful.
2202: Yes! Sorry, wee Owen, you’re a nice guy but you’re not a singer.
A proper final now. Surely Alexandra has it wrapped up. No-one has ever won The X-Factor after finishing in the bottom two during the live finals which, from memory, JLS have done at least once.
2205: Owen’s crying now. Can’t blame him. But i wish Simon would stop saying he’s representing Northern Ireland tonight, he’s doing nothing of the sort, it’s not a regional competition.
2206: Carolyn has asked me to admit that she called this line-up in the final – JLS and Alexandra – at the start of tonight.
2207: JLS are back, singing “Hallelujah”. They’re definitely the strongest group we’ve ever seen in the competition, but there’s no way they can beat Alexandra. Is there?
2211: Louis is shameless in his touting for votes for his act. None of the other judges do that.
2212: Just realised that “Hallelujah” will be the winner’s single! Should have been paying more attention. Didn’t Diana sing that at boot camp?
2216: That’s it, then. Wonder when the lines close?
2217: Sheryl’s greetin’ again. Has there been a week when she hasn’t? Pet lamb! And Smon has just said Alexandra’s going to win! And he should know.
2219: And Carolyn reckons Alexandra will win because she’s so beautiful. You see, I wouldn’t have been allowed to say that…
2220: “As well as talented,” Carolyn just added.
2221: Another commercial break! It’s the waiting I can’t stand, Carruthers…
2225: It’s back! And btw, Beyonce was fantastic. Certainly put Britney’s appearance in the shade. She didn’t even know what show she was appearing in.
2227: Just been told I spelled Cheryl’s name wrong. The misspelling of Eggnog was deliberate, btw.
2229: Nine minutes to go. Nine minutes? What are we going to do for nine minutes?
2231: Just been reminded that Alexandra’s cover of “Toxic”, singing live, was miles better than Britney’s mimed version of “Womaniser”.
2234: I can’t get through to vote! It’s constantly engaged! This is just like Florida 2000 all over again!
2235: Okay, panic over – I got through. Call off Warren Christopher.
2239: Lines are now closed!
2240: The Mayor of Islington is really hogging that camera angle.
2241: This is it. Seconds away now…
2241: Eight million votes? Good grief!
2242: Yessss! (Punching the air and nearly knocking my laptop off my knees). Hysterical sobbing and girly tears from Alexandra and Cheryl.
2243: For crying out loud, love, cheer up, you won!
2244: Dermot’s trying to get a coherent word from Alexandra. Now someone’s run on stage and shoved a mic into her hand. She’s just dedicated her next performance to me personally, which is nice.
2245: One final thought – didn’t Cheryl do well in her first year as an X-Factor judge and mentor? At least two years since the old hands Simon or Louis won.
And that’s it until the auditions for X-Factor 2009 start to be broadcast next August. So, wonder how I’ll fill my time in the meantime?