Category Archives: Whimsy

Making a dummy out of Bush

I READ in The Independent that many of Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s supporters turned up at a rally yesterday “with effigies of Mr Bush”.

Now, am I the only person who finds this a bit odd? Am I alone in being unaware of Iran’s thriving papier mâché industry?

Mind you, they’d probably sell more of them if they weren’t so combustible. Every time I see one on TV, it’s caught fire and the owner’s looking pretty peeved (I assume they’re quite expensive).

Can I suggest to The Tehran Effigy Company (“We make ’em, you burn ’em!”) that instead of soaking them in petrol before they go in the shop window, they instead fill them with sweeties or something? That would make for a much nicer day out and everyone could go home afterwards in a much better mood.

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Filed under International, Whimsy

Bin your PC, save the planet

EVERYONE* knows that buying a plane ticket is the moral equivalent of actually, personally strangling an entire Inuit village.

So it has come as something of a surprise to discover that the IT industry is as big a producer of carbon emissions as the aviation industry.

Apparently carrying out two Google searches uses up the same amount of electricity as boiling a kettle, according to The Sunday Times.

So expect a shrill student or an indignant comedy actor to Superglue his hand to your computer screen next time you’re thinking of typing “water-sliding doberman” into the Google search engine.

 

* Alistair McGowan

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Filed under Environment, Whimsy

Gap in the market, maybe?

car sign

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Filed under Whimsy

Oh Nuneaton!

THERE’S a classic scene in a classic episode of The Simpsons – “Marge versus the Monorail” since you ask – where the con artist who makes money from selling dud schemes to gullible townships is on a plane that makes an unscheduled stop at a town that was ruined because of him. The natives recognise him and storm the plane to lynch him.

Why am I reminded of this, you ask? Well, I’m on a Virgin West Coast service southwards, and, remembering the beautiful sentiment expressed by a resident of Nuneaton when I was sacked as rail minister, Carolyn asked me if we were going to stop there. Fortunately not.

But then, if we did stop, I wouldn’t be in danger of a lynching, would I?

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Filed under Department for Transport, Whimsy

LibDems speak out against social exclusion

LIBDEM leader Nick Clegg has blasted the tendency of certain social groups to be excluded from the mainstream.

“It is absolutely outrageous that the big boys in the playground won’t play with me… er, I mean that they won’t play with the smaller, less popular boys, even though those so-called less popular boys have actually had more girlfriends than they have.”

Mr Clegg had to cut short his 20-minute speech because everyone had gone home to watch Lark Rise to Candleford.

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Filed under LibDems, Nick Clegg, Whimsy

The Doctor abducted

THIS was shown nearly ten years ago during a special Doctor Who evening on BBC2. It was the first thing I’d ever seen David Walliams in.

It’s one of the extras on one of my classic Who DVDs. Whoever wrote the subtitles on the DVD version thought Mark Gatiss shouts “Oh my God!” when he’s woken up. He doesn’t: he shouts “Omega!” which, to every Whovian worth his salt, is much funnier. And if you don’t know who “Omega” is then be glad… be very glad.

This is brilliant, though. I especially love the references to Target paperbacks and Chris Achilleos.

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Filed under Doctor Who, Whimsy

Status update: not taking Alex too seriously

HAVING become a recent convert to Twitter, I was intrigued to see that none other than the Richt Honourable Alex Salmond is a Twitterer too (no, I said Twitter…)

I discovered this gem through a rather fine blog of which I’ve only just become aware, A Leaky Chanter (which I believe may be some sort of musical instrument. Or maybe a cup. Or a shoe…)

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Filed under Alex Salmond, Whimsy